Irony

Just an ironic tidbit that I forgot to mention…

I was agonizing over my food plan for St. George a week or so back.  The word agonizing probably sounds a little dramatic, but it pretty well describes how I was feeling at the time. 

“No garlic mashed potatoes on my food plan…but I LOVE garlic mashed potatoes.  I WANT garlic mashed potatoes.  I have to use my scale at Texas Roadhouse?…but I don’t want to weigh my meat.  I want the whole 10 ounces. I don’t want restrictions.  I want to eat what ever I want whenever I want.”

That night I went to bed late.  I have a hard time going to sleep when Lynn is on the road, so I turned on the T.V., set the sleep timer and laid my head down on the pillow in the hopes of drifting off to sleep quickly.  I have absolutely no idea what show was on but it basically was a reality show that trailed the lives of three extremely obese people—people in the 400-600 lb. range.  It showed all the struggles they were going through trying to live a normal life at that size.  One needed to have a specially built wheel chair to accommodate him.  He had to have specially made clothes to fit.  One was having fertility problems as a direct result of her weight, etc. etc. etc.  Their lives were so complicated and difficult just because of their weight.

As I watched the show I sat up in bed and felt like screaming, “you don’t have to suffer like that.  There is an answer!  There is a solution!  There is a program that can totally change your life and help you find recovery.  And the program is SOOOOO much easier than the pain and suffering you are going through now.  If you only knew how simple it is!”

Then the irony hit me.  I was so anxious to share the solution with those strangers on T.V.  I had the solution that would change their life. So, why the heck was I so resistant to accept the solution myself? 

How obese do you have to get before the problem is more painful than the cure?  How much craziness and mental obsession do you have to go through before it is easier to just let go and work the program?  Why is it so easy to see the solution for other people and so difficult to recognize it for yourself? 

Hum.  Human nature?  Self-deception?  

For today, I want to remember and be grateful for the solution.