In 2005 I reached my top weight. I am not sure exactly what it was, but the highest recorded weight I have down on paper a few months before I was introduced to 90-day OA was 326 pounds. That equates to a size 30 and too big to fit in an airplane seat or do many of the things other people take for granted. A friend introduced the program to me, but I wasn’t interested. I had no experience with 12 step programs and didn’t intend to have any. My problem was clearly either genetic or something I could deal with on my own when I got around to it. I had pretty well given up believing there was any hope for me and my weight program.
One thing I had going for me was the habit of trying to listen to my “higher power” and act on the impressions I received. So when I had the distinct impression that I ought to at least check out a 90-day OA meeting one day, I did. I didn’t like what I saw. It was strange and alien to anything I was familiar with. The problem was I had this gnawing feeling that I needed to try it. I spent the next weekend agonizing over it: Should I? Shouldn’t I? How can I give up flour and sugar? Do I even want to? After hearing me go back and forth for several days, my daughter said: “Mom, just give it a try. If it works, great. If not, quit.”
The next meeting I got a sponsor who stuck me on a gestapo—type program. The amazing thing to me was that deciding whether or not to commit to the program was the hard part. Once I made that commitment and put down the flour and sugar, following the program was much easier than I ever imagined. It was clearly much easier than living with the craziness that surrounded my relationship with food. During the last 5½ years in program I have had 4 sponsors (including one temporary sponsor). Each of them has been exactly what I needed at that point in my development and was an integral part in my recovery journey. At the same time I started the “food program” I also began participating in another 12-step program. Working through the steps was life-changing and a major factor in my recovery.
I lost 130 pounds the first 12 months and a total of 180 pounds within 21 months. My weight stabilized quickly and I was surprised to find that I was within a pound of my goal weight on the first of each month. This included a year where I was traveling out of the state or country for 123 days in that single year. I worked my program and followed my food plan regardless of where I was or how I was traveling. The relief from my obsession with food was amazing. If I had sugary or salty party foods around the house for an event I was able to look at them as table decorations. When the party was over I merely dropped them in the garbage along with the other decorations and paper goods.
After a few years on maintenance we started to make a few changes to my program. I was allowed to eat out at restaurants without a scale. A few additional abstinent foods were added back into my food plan. Instead of always carrying my food with me when I traveled, I started to eat out multiple meals each day—mostly without my scale. During those trips I would obviously come home weighing a little more but would quickly go back to an acceptable weight. As I continued to travel I quit worrying about the time frames within which I ate; I wasn’t so strict about not eating anything between meals as long as the situation warranted it. During recent months I started to occasionally eat things that weren’t generally included in an OA food plan, but which didn’t contain any flour or sugar. That is where I found myself by the fall of 2010.
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