My mind is going a mile a minute. My thoughts are all over the map, but as I try to make sense of them, one theme seems to be emerging: planning ahead.
So, here’s the scoop. I have exactly one week before I fly out for Thanksgiving. During those seven days I have about three weeks of stuff that needs to be done. Once I arrive at my destination, the real fun begins. I say that literally as well as figuratively. It’s going to be a blast…lots people, lots of excitement, lots of chaos, lots of celebrating, lots of eating out. I will be back in the exact same situation I have found myself in many times this last year: it’s just not practical to follow my recovery program and food plan with exactness when I travel. Okay, I’ll be honest. It’s not ‘practical’ to follow it at all! Based on my previous patterns of behavior, I can expect about 12 hours before I feel inclined to give up completely.
From my Thanksgiving party spot I hop on another plane and head for Portland
Okay, I’ve outlined the scenario. The problems are pretty obvious. The question is, “What is the solution?” Part of the answer seems to be “plan ahead”… AND…plan better than I have in the past.
I started to do that last night. I made a careful list of everything I had to do between now and when I leave next Monday. I then prioritized the list and started fitting tasks into available time slots. One thing became clear. The tasks and the time slots don’t match up. My standard solution for this is to flip into overdrive, stay up all night and make it all happen. Recipe for insanity.
My mind jumped back to something I mentioned in my blog a few days ago. “God gives us exactly the amount of time we need to do his will. (Not necessarily ours.) Part of my planning process this week seems to be focusing on “calm efficiency” and not “frenzied hyper-activity”. I’d better repeat that to myself: “calm efficiency” and not “frenzied hyper-activity”. My sponsor pointed out this morning that steps 1, 2, and 3 are critical. I am powerless to get everything done. My life, left to my own devises, is unmanageable. So, I just wrote in at the top of my to-do list a little reminder of steps 1-3:
I can’t. (step 1)
God can. (step 2)
I’ll let him. (step 3)
At the end of the day, or at least at the end of the week I will be grateful for what got done and let the rest go.
[Just a little P.S: the logical thing to do in a time crunch would be to bypass blogging. I happen to have put a certain amount of time each day on my “must be done list” to spend on recovery…writing is part of my recovery activities, so I’ll keep this within the budgeted time.]
On to planning for next week—the party week. One of my favorite quotes comes into play here, and I really need to share it—again. (from Clayton Christensen)
“In many ways that was a small decision…In theory, surely I could have crossed over the line just that one time and then not done it again. But looking back on it, resisting the temptation whose logic was “in this extenuating circumstance, just this once, it’s okay” has proven to be one of the most important decisions of my life. Why? My life has been one unending stream of extenuating circumstances. Had I crossed the line that one time, I would have done it over and over in the years that followed.”
“The lesson I learned ….is that it’s easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold to them 98% of the time. If you give in to “just this once,” based on [extenuating circumstances…] you’ll regret where you end up. You’ve got to define for yourself what you stand for and draw the line in a safe place.”
And so today I begin the process of planning my food for Thanksgiving week. I am planning for exactly which restaurants I am going to and exactly what I am going to order. I will plan what I need to pick up at the grocery store upon arrival and how I plan to manage my eating schedule. Period. No exceptions. No extenuating circumstances.
That brings me to the third week: babysitting in Portland
I was discussing this with my sponsor and she called me on something. “T.V.? But you don’t watch T.V. at home. Why are you watching it there?” Well, to escape stress and reality, of course. (Okay, some of it was because they had cable and I didn’t.) Escape is not the answer. Rejuvenation is. She gave me several assignments while I was there.
1) No T.V. Ouch….she knows how to hit where it hurts.
2) Spend at least 30 minutes each day in prayer, reflection and meditation. Why do all those crazy “big book people” keep harping on that? How the heck are you supposed to find 30 minutes a day for extra reflection and meditation when I have to really work to make sure I get my scripture reading in for the day? Oh…. is she implying that that would be more important than 30 minutes of Law & Order: Special Victim’s Unit on T.V.?
3) Keep up my gratitude journal. “These are not restrictions being imposed on me to make my life miserable”. “Thank you Heavenly Father that I have a plan that will help me be well!”
4) Find a way to have some ‘away time’, even if that means hiring a babysitter for a few hours here and there. Come on. I’m wonder-woman. I don’t need to do that. I want to spend every minute I can with the kids. Well, I will compromise. I will plan one morning where I can go out and have some fun shopping time (my other favorite escape.) We’ll have to see beyond that.
Of course, my planning ahead there also includes making sure that I have a frig full of the kind of food I need to eat right myself and still keep the children fed. But if I make it through Thanksgiving week, I think I can actually manage that part of the Portland
My favorite strategy tends to be playing the “defensive” position. I am great at hitting the balls as fast as they come at my face. Taking the “offensive” position—initiating a plan recalculated to help me reach my goals—will be a bit of a twist for me.
For today, we’ll see how it goes.
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